Next Blog

Have you ever hit "next blog" at the top of the page? Every once in a while I'll hit it a few times and see what's up with random strangers. Eight times out of ten there is a photo of three young children at the top, perfectly spaced 18-24 months apart. They are smiling and happy and if you scroll down far enough, sure enough, one of them is wearing a BYU t-shirt or there is a post about a recent family trip to Utah with photos in front of the temple. I find this quite odd. It makes me wonder: do only Mormons blog? Does google/blogger/the internet know that I am Mormon and hence send me to only Mormon blogs?

On another note, I bought a food processor on Saturday. For a long while I thought that they were just another counter cluttering gadget, but lately as I've delved more into cooking, I've wished I had one so many times. Thanks to the Bed Bath and Beyond 20% off coupon and a Kitchen Aid rebate, I got a pretty good deal and have used it every day since I bought it (three times). Today I made "one ingredient ice cream" which is basically pureed frozen bananas. I added a little peanut butter for protein and interestingness. Mmmmm. Anyway, I'm really excited about this and am excited about the possibilities!

Also, I'm working on some super fun crafty projects that will have to remain a mystery for now. I will reveal when the time is right.

When Plans Just Don't Do It...

I really can't believe how long it's been since I even blogged anything. It makes me chuckle to look at our posts from the end of last year and resolutions to blog once a month. I say forget promises. Just blog when you want to. Doesn't have to be more than a couple of words. Put something up that you thought was funny on youtube, whatever!

Anyway, a ward trip to Big Bear got cancelled for this weekend due to weather and so I have a little time on my hands. The problem with time on my hands is that then I get restless and dissatisfied. So, I thought, why not blog and get my mind off of things?

Pretty much the life plan right now is to plan on going back to school in Fall 2011. That gives me time to re-take the GRE (with a very overpriced prep class), and actually spend time on as wel as save money for applications. The problem with this is that I get really tense thinking about surviving another year in a pretty stressful, undervalued job. And staying put for another year and a half. I can't even think about other people with my dream job because then I start to dream and get really impatient to be doing something else when what I really need to do is get my MA.

So, that's pretty much where I am right now. That means another 1.5 years living at home so that I can hopefully pay off some debt and maybe save a little bit of money. Not so easy when I'm already pretty much the oldest person in my ward and all I want to do is move out and feel like I am an adult instead of still living at home. No matter what, I MUST be moved out before my 30th birthday! So, besides that, I've been having some weird health issues with my stomach that I am trying to work out with a doctor. I'm also trying to suppress my impulse to run away and travel (for lack of funds).

Hope you are all doing well! Can you believe that one of us 4WMs really is going to be a mother soon? Crazy! Things always work out so differently than we sometimes think (well, maybe except for Jenny - haha!). Love you all!

As a random side note, if you want to see some pics from my Heart Walk last September, click here.

Sooo...

Is it just me or is it super frustrating not knowing what the heck is going on with my life next year?! Arrggghhh! (I've always wanted to use that expression but never found it quite appropriate. I still don't think it fit in this situation because it ended up sounding like a pirate ... but if you didn't already realize, I'm irritated and trying to express my frustration.) I've also come to the sudden realization that I'm a little ADD with my life plans. I get distracted and bored with a current circumstance and find myself wanting to do completely ridiculous things. I mean I could do any of the things I dream up, but I have to ask myself if any of them are the logical thing to do. Most of them probably aren't good investments of my time or money, but it's so hard to stop dreaming things up. I shouldn't be surprised at this realization I guess. I've always known that I would rather look ahead than focus on the present, but I think with this big change coming up next year it could be the chance for a fresh start. I love fresh starts. New beginnings. They're fantastic! When you're in school, you get them every semester. In teaching, each new year is a new start. But I still find my mind wandering...I guess it's a good thing to dream but bad if you never take action upon any of those dreams. It's just hard to decide which are worthwhile...but maybe it's just me?

Yo, Yo, Yo, Happy Birthday Jo!

Happy Birthday, Jo! I hope you have a wonderful day with cupcakes and candles and all of the other good things that a birthday deserves. Love you!

taking the lead

Here's my October post. It's like visiting teaching... last day of the month still counts, right? Speaking of visiting teaching, I have to rant a little. I really think it's one of the most inspired programs in the church (home and visiting) and know that it's how we are all to take care of one another. I don't like having to force someone else to do it every month. Like, it would totally make my month if my companion (if I had one) would actually call ME and say, "Hey let's go visiting teaching, I've called our girls and they are free this day and this day. Which one do you want me to schedule?" I know it's wrong, but it would be nice if I didn't have to take the lead on it. Can't I just be junior companion again? For a little while?

SO BORED

So I just finished a long night of parent teacher conferences...usually this should warrant some sort of celebration, right? I came home only to find an empty apartment...lame. Jeff won't be back until Saturday and I am already so bored and thinking about the four white mothers. Although I was excited when Jeff suggested some trips to visit some certain white mothers. Maybe. Hopefully. Unfortunately, we are in that same "poor" phase in life. I told Jeff I can't even remember the last time I went shopping and bought something. I'm pretty sure it was six months ago...yep. I'm positive actually. We just end up looking like scrubs and eating a lot of potatoes, ha ha ha. Okay, so maybe we eat more than potatoes, but didn't you just feel so sad for us when I said that? Don't you see those couples that get to travel all over the place, and they wear stylish clothes, and they have nice shoes, and they eat out everywhere, and they do tons of expensive things and wonder how the heck are they doing that? I just say that they have tons of debt and are living way beyond their means. It makes me feel better as I sit in our apartment in the same clothes I wore as a freshman at the Y and dreaming about future trips to Rome. And if we lived beyond our means, I'd be in NYC right now doing tons of fun stuff with Jeff and wearing super cute clothes. But it's not worth it, right? And we'll be stronger people when it's all over, right? Just like in those stories?

Living Life as an Ensign Article

Allow me to explain. For several years, I've read Ensign articles detailing the poverty-stricken years of young LDS couples struggling through the stressful, tender, life-enriching phase of graduate school and/or the young poor years. Due to some bizarre mix of nostalgia and longing (I blame my parents' tales of their days in Madison and my own childhood love of "The Gift of the Magi"), I wanted to be such a couple.

Enter last night's budget check. Oh. My. Are we really that poor? When did that happen? Why doesn't it feel as cozy and heart-warming as the stories? The articles I read always had a tinge of the sweet about them. Let me tell you, though: I felt nothing sweet when my heart constricted and panic set in. I foresaw five years of toil and constant stress.

Enter a calm husband, who reminded me that we have savings, who reminded me that our budget actually covers our necessary expenses, who reminded me that this was indeed a phase, who reminded that me we felt excellent about this decision, especially the decision that is leading to the most imminent major expenses, etc. My breath seeped back in...slowly.

No doubt the couples behind those Ensign articles had moments of sheer terror too. However, their growth occurred despite the panic (even more likely because of the panic). As time passed, hard days got swallowed by moments of insight. So that is the new goal: look for the growth; ignore the panic. And maybe one day I'll be able to walk into Banana Republic again.

you'll understand why

I had to take this photo while driving... because I knew you all had to see it. (zoom in on the license plate)